


Hammer, Horn, and Heart

by umakoo



Series: light in monochrome night [2]
Category: Norse Mythology, Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Intersex Loki, Intersexuality, Jötunn Loki, Loki/Mjolnir - Freeform, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, berserkr!Thor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-22
Updated: 2013-05-22
Packaged: 2017-12-12 15:27:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/813108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/umakoo/pseuds/umakoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>Thor often chose to visit him in the summer, for his golden skin was made for sunnier realms, not the cruel winters of Loki’s homeland. But when he came they would hunt together and feast together, tell stories and sing songs, spar and play and roam the land. Sometimes they bickered and came to blows, but no argument ever kept them from taking pleasure from each other’s bodies until their youthful lust was sated.</i><br/> <br/>A sequel to <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/799713?page=1">A Prelude</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hammer, Horn, and Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I am really grateful to schaudwen and thorkizilla for their helpful feedback and great beta work.
> 
> I would also suggest reading [A Prelude](http://archiveofourown.org/works/799713?page=1) first.
> 
> **This fic has gone through major edits in November of 2017**

  
Loki ran through the mist, trampling the lichen and disturbing the dead silence of the wood with his hurried steps. His heart threatened to beat through his sternum as regret and horror began to twist in the pit of his stomach, but he shook his head, refusing to give the feelings room to grow.

“It was worth it.” He clutched the soft bundle in his arms tighter and kept running, not stopping even after the dense mist and the husks of petrified trees were finally behind him. “It was worth it."

Each time he ventured into Angrboða's wood, he swore it would be the last time, that there'd be no more bargains and no more lessons that always seemed to come with a twist or a hidden price.

This time he truly meant it, for never before had the cost been as high as tonight.

A long, blood-chilling howl from the depths of the Ironwood sent a flock of crows into the sky, the sound of their flapping wings startling Loki. He lost his footing, tumbling down a small hill, never once relinquishing his hold on the prize in his hands. The howl echoed across the vast glaciers, restless sounds of startled beasts following in its wake. Loki buried his face in evergreen berry bushes and did not move until the land had gone silent once more. 

 

* * *

 

A lone falcon soared in the western sky, allowing the wind beneath its wings to guide its movements as it flew over a narrow valley. The bird fixed its red eyes on a small hunting party of jötnar that was making its way across the plains between the mountains. It let out a shrill call and one of the jötnar stopped in his tracks, turning his face up. He motioned for another jötunn in the rear to reach for the bow behind his back, and the falcon lost some altitude as it made a hasty swoop toward the jagged mountain side, landing ungracefully on a narrow outcrop.

Loki threw down the wind-ruffled hood on his feather cloak, shaking like a newborn fawn, unable to pry his fingers open from their tight hold on the rock wall. The way down looked much longer when he was not in his bird form. He turned his gaze to the valley where the hunting party continued their trek toward Laufey's lands and the royal keep.

Loki scowled at his brother, for it was indeed Byleistr who had just tried to have him killed, albeit unwittingly. He was tempted to send a small rockslide his way, but he did not wish to bear the mark of kinslayer on top of his existing banishment.

He'd not seen his brother this close in almost a century, not since Laufey-King’s had kicked him out of his court like an unwanted mutt and he found himself living in the wilds instead of his father’s hall.

“Still undefeated in battle, I see,“ Loki muttered as he took note of the long, thick horns that curved high above Byleistr’s head, the sharp ends pointing toward his muscled back. His own horns, almost as long as his forearms, were undamaged, and it was not a sign of his prowess in battle, but rather a testament to his cunning nature and solitary existence.

The band of giants continued on their way, and Loki lost interest in them. He stroked his fingers along the sleek falcon plumes he had donned in order to change his shape, a burst of wild joy swelling in his chest. It had worked, he had flown! The feather cloak was much too big on him, the hem dragging several feet behind his body, but it didn’t seem to have any effect on the actual transformation. His arms were weary from the short flight, but the discomfort hardly registered as Loki stood there on the small cliff, his red eyes wide as he drank in the harsh beauty of his homeland.

He could see vast yellow and brown plains where the snow had melted for the summer season, the land dotted with splashes of red and green shrubbery. Tiny rivers and streams ran along the rugged terrain were open again after the long winter, streaming merrily amid the rock formations, some of them growing into waterfalls, some ending up in the vast ocean where ice floes protruded from the grey water like enormous sharp teeth.

Loki felt a kind of joy he hadn’t experienced in a decade, maybe longer. Not since Thor’s last visit. He tightened the plumes around his shoulders and prepared to change his shape again, eager to try out his new wings once more.

The price he had paid for the magical cloak was a terrible one, but as he felt the wind under his wings and the freedom of being able to go wherever he wished, Loki thought it truly was worth it.

 

* * *

 

Summers in Jötunheimr were short and the thick ice that blanketed the realm hardly melted during the time Skaði spent in Nóatún with her Vanir husband. It was late fall already and the brisk smell of winter was in the air once more.

Loki crouched down to pick up the last of the ingredients he needed for his blue body paint: a foul-smelling yellow flower that grew in the southern grasslands where the weather was slightly milder. He gathered as much as he could, for he knew that in a week or two most living things would be hidden underneath the first snowfall of the coming winter.

He placed the blooms in his fur satchel and reached up to scratch at the scalp around his horns, frowning at the tremble in his hands. What had begun as a slow simmer of restless energy had grown into a strange need that had coiled in his stomach for days on end, sending tremors all over his body and filling him with a deep longing for something Loki could not name.

His thoughts these days were often of Thor and how long it had been since his last visit. He was used to a solitary life, but he found himself missing Thor’s cheerful nature and easy companionship. He often chose to visit Loki in the summer, for his golden skin was made for sunnier realms, not the cruel winters of Loki’s homeland. But when he did come they would hunt together and feast together, tell stories and sing songs, spar and play and roam the land. Sometimes they bickered and came to blows, but no argument ever kept them from taking pleasure from each other’s bodies until their youthful lust was sated.

Ten long years he'd been gone, and though Loki would not admit it, not even to himself, he had begun to worry that he'd been replaced, that Thor had found someone more interesting to spend his time with.

He snarled at the thought and threw his cloak on, taking to the sky with an angry screech. 

 

* * *

 

 

By the time Loki approached his secluded home, a cave hidden behind a waterfall, he had become increasingly distracted, his mind clouded by the strange restlessness that had ailed him all day. Misjudging his landing, he began his transformation too early and tumbled down with much less grace than he cared to admit. He slipped behind the wall of rumbling waters and placed his satchel and the falcon plumes in a casket near the entrance, drawing a protective rune on the lid after he had closed it.

As soon as he stepped further into the cave, he knew something was amiss. There was a strange presence in the air - and a distinct smell of fresh blood in his nostrils.

Loki cast a quick warding spell and called for his inner seiðr to shape a sharp blade of ice out of the mist in cave. “Who’s there? Show yourself!”  
  
A melodic whistle pierced the air and the blade in Loki’s hand shattered as soon as Thor’s tall figure stepped forth from a small alcove in the back of the cave. Loki let out a cry of relief, the tension in his body leaving him in a shaky exhale.

“Forgive me, I didn’t mean to startle you so,” Thor grinned apologetically, eyeing the broken blade of ice on the cave floor. He pocketed the whistle Loki had gifted him when they first met almost four decades ago and pulled Loki into a familiar embrace that still came to him as naturally as breathing.

“You wretch…“ Loki groaned, gently beating his fist against Thor’s chest. “I thought you were- Well, never mind what I thought. How are you here? You haven’t set foot in this land in almost ten years! I was beginning to think you'd forgotten all about me...”

“Never, Loki, _never_." Thor shook his head and tightened his hold on Loki's narrow waist. "But I know it's been too long since my last visit and I apologize for my absence. Not all is well in the Realms and I’ve been kept busy by a great many things,” Thor sighed, pushing a loose strand of hair behind Loki’s ear. “There’s growing animosity between the Dökkálfar and the dwarves-“

“There always is,” Loki huffed, and Thor agreed with a frustrated groan.

“The men of Midgard also fight bloody battles in the north and the doors of Valhalla have hardly closed these past few years.”

“And, yet, here you are,” Loki noted, still a little bewildered by Thor's sudden appearance.

“Aye.” Thor grinned and pressed their foreheads together, taking a moment to breathe in Loki’s familiar scent. “I've dreamed of your pleasant company and sweet kisses for so long now that Ymir himself could not have kept me from you. I hope I am still welcome in your hall.”

Loki snorted at Thor’s choice of words, for one would hardly call his home in the dank cave a hall, but it was safe and comfortable enough. Dozens of tiny orbs of seiðr floated near the low ceiling, filling the space with warm, dim light. Loki had placed the pelts he and Thor had hunted together on the cold floor of stone, and there was a little nest of furs in the back of the cave.

The walls had been improved with seiðr, shaped into alcoves and small shelves filled with jars and bowls carved out of bone and bark. Inside them were dry herbs and plants, salted meat and fish and other rations. One special nook was reserved for the gifts Thor had brought for him over the years, and Loki’s personal favorite was a wooden longboat Thor had carved for him when they were younger, claiming the wood had come from the roots of Yggdrasill herself. Inside the boat sat two tiny figures, one with horns and one lifting a familiar looking hammer.

Loki smiled and turned his face up to look at Thor. “You are always welcome here.”

A decade was not that long, but Thor had changed since their last tryst. He’d always been broad, but now his chest was as wide as a barrel, and the arms around Loki’s shoulders seemed thick enough to possess the strength of a full-grown jötunn. There was a small bump on the bridge of his nose where it had been broken, and Loki wondered if Thor had been wrestling one the ferocious bilgesnipes he sometimes mentioned in his stories.

The dusting of freckles on Thor’s face had faded, and there was strange yellow hair all over his cheeks and jawline that had not been there before. “You have changed since last we met, Odinson.” Loki leaned closer to rub his cheek against the odd new hair, wrinkling his nose when it scratched his skin.

Thor seemed amused by Loki’s curious exploration. “I take it that jötnar do not grow beards?”

Loki pressed closer to inhale the scent behind Thor’s ear, finding it familiar still, but somehow changed. Thicker, headier. It flooded Loki’s senses and stole his breath away, causing a peculiar wave of warmth to rush through his entire body, and suddenly all the strange sensations he'd experienced in recent days made sense.

Loki was yet young and he had not experienced a fully developed heat before, but he knew there was naught any jötunn could do to prevent it and it appeared his first heat was upon him.

“Are you hungry?” Thor asked as Loki kept scenting him, his face still buried in the crook of Thor’s neck. “I felled us a small deer as I made my way here through the valley. It’s skinned and ready to be roasted. We’ll have a mighty feast.”

“Aye, we will,” Loki agreed, but his fingers were already unclasping Thor’s red cloak. “But right now, I hunger for something _hard_ and _thick._ ”

“I see you’re as impatient as I remembered,” Thor chuckled when Loki climbed into his arms, equally eager for a good roll in the furs after being parted for so long.

He walked them over to a small slab of stone covered with an old wolverine pelt and sat down on it, pulling Loki into his lap until he was seated across Thor’s thick thighs.

They allowed their pent up desire to run unchecked, and Loki nibbled at Thor’s grinning lips and lapped at the salt on his neck, all the while enjoying the feel of Thor’s hands roaming on his body. He undressed himself between kisses, tossing each garment over his shoulder, too impatient to get his hands back on Thor’s now naked torso. His pupils were blown wide with arousal, swallowing the red of his eyes almost completely as he stared at the firmly muscled chest and the thick girth of Thor's arms.

Loki felt his cunt clench at the sight and he tilted his hips to grind against the delicious swell inside Thor’s breeches as he lost himself in their ravenous kisses all over again.

One of Thor’s hands brushed against Loki’s inner thigh when he reached between them, the wetness there taking him by surprise. “Loki… You really are eager for me this time,” Thor gasped. “I don’t think I’ve ever felt you this wet before.”

Loki parted his thighs even wider and took hold of Thor’s fingers to push them into his body. “I would have you touch me here.”

Thor shook his head, grinning into the crook of Loki’s neck. “Greedy little jötunn…” He began to move his fingers in a steady rhythm, and Loki was almost too eager for Thor to keep up with him, clenching around the long digits as he ground down on them. “Greedy _and_ impatient,” Thor laughed.

He lowered his head and latched on to one of Loki’s dark blue nipples. Thor bit down on it gently, and Loki wrapped his fingers around the tiny braids in his golden hair, pressing the swollen nub harder against Thor’s suckling mouth.

His cock leaked a steady flow of pre-spend into Thor’s lap, and he gave himself a couple of strokes, but his fingers soon sought out the little nub above his opening, the pleasure there even greater.

The stimulation of his own hand combined with Thor’s caresses was all it took to send him over the edge, and Loki began to tremble in Thor’s arms, spilling between them in wet milky splashes as his muscles clamped around the fingers inside him.

“You alright?” Thor chuckled, dropping a wet kiss to Loki’s chin.

Loki panted in his arms, his thighs trembling and wet with slick. Even the cloth of Thor’s breeches had soaked through where Loki had ground against him.

“My turn, now, hm? “ Thor murmured, withdrawing his fingers from Loki’s body to finally free his untouched prick from the confines of his breeches.

Loki watched Thor unfasten his laces, the sight of his hard cock enough to clear the haze of lust long enough for Loki to remember that he could not allow Thor to spill inside him when his heat was upon him.

“No…” he whispered, the thought of suddenly finding himself with child making him recoil.

Thor’s head jerked up at Loki’s refusal, his brows drawn together in a confused frown. “No?”

Loki shook his head and scrambled to his feet, backing away a few steps. “I can’t…”

Thor stared at him, the confused look on his face making him look decades younger. “Loki, is something wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“It’s not that…” Loki lowered his gaze, feeling himself flush all over. The need in him began to burn anew already, and he felt humiliated for having so little control over his own body.

Thor wrapped his hand around his cock and gave himself a couple of loose strokes. “Come, you can ride me,” he smiled, taking Loki’s hand to pull him closer. “You always liked that.”

Loki shook his head, looking utterly miserable. “I can’t, not this time,” he sighed, shaking his head as he pulled away from Thor’s touch. “You can’t spill inside me, for my heat is upon me and we’d make a child.”

Thor’s nostrils flared at the confession, his cock twitching in his grip. “A child?” he echoed, staring keenly at Loki’s flat stomach. They had discussed the matter years ago, and it did not come as a surprise to Thor that Loki could one day conceive, but the way his eyes seemed to light up now made Loki feel wary; it almost seemed like Thor was tempted by the idea of swelling Loki’s belly with his seed.

When Thor reached out to press his palm against Loki’s abdomen, Loki immediately drew back, avoiding his touch. “Do _not_ get any ideas, Thor. I will not carry you a child,” he growled. The visibly hurt look that passed on Thor’s face made him regret the harsh way he had said it, but it did not change anything. Loki would not be left to raise a child alone in the wild while Thor was realms away, doing Ymir knew what.

The air between them grew heavy with tension, and for a long time, the only sound in the cave was the steady rush of water as it streamed into the lake from the high cliffs.

Loki glanced up long enough to see that Thor was not as hard as he was moments ago. He wrapped his arms around himself, aware that the mood had been ruined, now, but he was still unable to ignore the need that urged him back into Thor’s arms.

He startled a little when Thor finally broke the silence.

“Is there anything I can do to help you with your… needs?”

Loki’s head jerked up and he felt himself relax when he saw the small, amicable smile on Thor’s face.

“Were my fingers good?”

“They were very good,“ Loki smirked, “but I’m afraid they were not enough.”

Thor pushed himself up from the slab of stone and moved toward the furs in the back, motioning for Loki to follow. He removed his breeches before settling down on the makeshift bed, leaning his back against the cave wall.

“What do you have in mind?” Loki asked, crawling between Thor’s thighs, his eyes narrowed in playful suspicion.

He startled when out of nowhere, Mjöllnir flew into Thor’s outstretched hand. Thor’s lewd grin was almost wide enough to reach his ears as he settled his trusty war hammer between his thighs, his leaking prick and heavy sack resting against its rectangular head.

He gave the thick hilt a very telling stroke, and Loki felt himself blush as Thor’s intentions became clear to him. He felt oddly flattered by the offering, for he knew how fond Thor was of his hammer.

Loki couldn’t deny the might that coursed through the strange object and how envious he sometimes was that Thor was in possession of such power. He eyed the grooves on the hilt, picturing how it would feel to have the thick shaft slide in and out of his body. He spread his thighs at the tempting thought, revealing just how wet he was between them.

Thor stared at him with raw hunger in his eyes. Some of the red paint from Loki’s royal mark over his eyes had smeared on Thor’s face while they kissed and it gave him a dangerous, almost feral look. He reached out to slick his fingers between Loki’s thighs and brought them back to the shaft of his hammer, preparing it for the fuck Loki so desperately needed.

“Lie down, now, Loki,” Thor said, and Loki obeyed the gruff command, settling on his back between Thor’s thighs and spreading his legs wide for the hammer. Thor tilted its uru-head until the handle pointed toward Loki’s belly, adjusting the angle, making sure there would be no chance of injury. Loki reached down between his legs and parted his folds as Thor took hold of his hips, guiding him down on the shaft.

Loki felt his inner walls clench around the hammer’s girth as it filled him up almost as deliciously as Thor did, and his cock throbbed against his belly, spilling a little at the feeling of finally being so full.

“Good?” Thor asked.

“Oh, it’s better than good,” Loki grinned, licking his lips. He could feel a strange power emitting from Mjöllnir and he recognized the seiðr that had gone into her elaborate forging. He touched the ribbed hilt where it penetrated him, marveling at the way it pulsed beneath his fingers.

Thor held on to Loki’s hip as he began to move the hammer in a steady pace, rubbing his own cock against the uru head to bring himself some relief. “She likes you,” he said, watching Loki fuck himself on Mjöllnir’s handle. He tilted her a little, and while the new angle was even better, it still wasn’t enough.

“More,” Loki demanded, “please, Thor, I need more.”

And Thor gave him more. He fixed his grip on the hammer and sent a low electric current into the shaft as it slid into Loki’s body. The effect was immediate, and Loki began to moan, feeling the steady vibration that ran through Mjöllnir’s handle, accompanied by the pleasurable pulses emitting from Thor’s fingertips where they touched his left hip.

Thor tightened his hold, helping Loki move faster, pulling him in a rhythm that met the thrust of his hammer. When Loki finally came undone, he let out a long wail, the gushes of clear liquid that pulsed out of him taking them both by surprise. They soaked Mjöllnir and Thor's own hand, and Loki heard Thor let out a groan as he spilled a few drops of seed over the metallic head of his hammer at the sight.

“Pull it out,” Loki hissed, suddenly too sensitive. “Please, pull it out.”

Thor pulled Mjöllnir out of Loki’s body as gently as he could, marveling at the wetness that had covered his hand and ran down his wrist. Even the furs were soaked.

"That was new and... uh, wet?" 

"Quite," Loki agreed, still a little delirious.

"Can you still go on?" Thor wrapped his fingers around his cock and Loki could see he wished to finally pursue his own pleasure; he was a selfless lover, but even he had his limits. "We can take a break if you wish to rest."

Loki shook his head and reached out to cup Thor's cheek, his eyes fond. "Go on, take your pleasure from me." 

Thor set Mjöllnir aside, her task now fulfilled. There was an unspoken question in his eyes when he reached for the firm mounds of Loki’s ass and spread the cheeks to reveal the tight ring of muscle he rarely had need to touch. He pressed the pad of his thumb against the tiny pucker, as smooth and hairless as the rest of Loki’s body, and turned his eyes up to gauge Loki’s reaction.

“Is this alright?” he asked, wanting Loki’s consent before he would coax him open.

Loki looked at him with hooded eyes, brushing away strands of black hair plastered on his cheeks and brow. Thor hadn’t penetrated him this way very often, because Loki did not get much pleasure out of it, but he wanted to give Thor a chance to feel good, especially after he had shared Mjöllnir with him in such an intimate way.

Loki nodded, pushing himself up on his hands and knees, arching his back to present himself to Thor. He felt fingers, slick with his own spill move against his hole, stroking around it and applying gentle pressure until one of the fingers slipped in. Loki began to touch his own spent prick in lazy strokes, certain that he wouldn’t be able to spill anymore, but enjoying the pleasurable touched nonetheless. He felt himself gradually open up for Thor’s eager fingers, and they were soon replaced with the blunt head of his cock.

Thor sank balls deep inside Loki’s body, going slow for as long as he could, but he was nearly mindless with want after holding back for so long, and Loki took pity on him. “Go on, fuck me,” he urged, giving Thor permission to let go.

He gasped when Thor grabbed his hips and began to rut like a beast, driving Loki into the sweat-stained furs with the sheer force of his thrusts. Loki kept fisting his own half-hard prick, feeling it suddenly spasm in his hand in an attempt to spill out seed that never appeared. The real pleasure came from hearing Thor’s satisfied grunt as he finally emptied himself into Loki. He pushed Loki’s long hair aside to press a kiss to his jawline.

“I missed you, you know?”

“I missed you too,” Loki smiled and let Thor catch his lips in a kiss.

They burrowed deep into the soft furs and Thor wrapped his arm around Loki’s waist, pulling him close until his back was pressed against his broad chest. Much of the blue paint from Loki’s body was smeared on Thor’s golden skin, and there were blue hand prints all over their sweat-slick limbs.

“Are you satisfied now, little jötunn?” Thor whispered, his warm breath tickling the back of Loki’s neck.

“Mmmh,” was all the answer Loki was capable of giving in his blissful state.

They didn’t step outside for days, content to simply fuck and sleep and then fuck some more. Loki was delirious from exhaustion by the time his heat began to pass, and even Thor had to admit that he was running on fumes, thoroughly drained by Loki’s insatiable need to rut.

It was the first day of winter when Loki woke and discovered his mind was finally clear of the fog of heat. The touch of winter had silenced the steady rumble of the waterfall, turning the falling waters into thick pillars of ice. Loki realized he was alone in the furs, but Thor’s familiar scent was still fresh in the air and Loki knew he couldn’t have gone far.

He glanced down at himself, aware that he was in desperate need of a bath, but his desire to find Thor was greater, and he stretched his stiff limbs and made his way outside barefooted and naked.  
  
Loki found Thor just outside of the cave, sitting near the frozen waterfall, tending to a small fire he had built in their usual firepit. Some kind of game was roasting on a spit above the flames, and Loki felt his stomach grumble at the sight.

The sound was loud enough to catch Thor’s attention and he greeted Loki with an amused smile. “Ready to break the fast, are we?” he laughed, reaching out to rotate the four black grouse he was roasting. “I’m afraid the deer I killed was devoured by some wilderbeast while we slept, but I was able to save its pelt for you.” Thor pointed to the grey-brown fur that was suspended tightly in a rack made from two young birch trees.

“Thank you,” Loki nodded. He noticed Thor had already bathed and dressed, and he felt a little self-conscious standing there naked, his body still covered in dark stains of old paint and traces of their fervent lovemaking. “I, uh, I’ll join you after I’ve bathed,” Loki grimaced, leaving Thor to cook their morning meal as he made his way to his usual bathing spot.

There was a small hole in the icy surface of the lake, not as smooth as the ones Loki himself made and it was obvious Thor had simply smashed the ice with Mjöllnir. “Of course he did,” Loki muttered and rolled his eyes, using the wooden ladder Thor had placed in the hole to descend into the freezing lake.

The chill of the water did not bite his flesh and Loki submerged himself in the black water, smiling as he remembered the first time Thor was forced to bathe in an ice hole. The curses he’d spat at the cold water had been loud enough to cause a small avalanche in the nearby valley.  
  
After Loki had finished washing, he returned into the cave to sort out his hair and dress himself in clean furs. Thor was removing their breakfast from the wooden spit when Loki joined him by the fire, and he offered the two larger grouse to Loki. “You’re naught but skin and bones again. I’ll have to fatten you up.”

Loki rolled his eyes at Thor, but he was definitely famished and eagerly accepted the food he was given. He devoured the birds with greedy bites, suckling on the bones and licking the grease from his lips and fingers when he had finished. Thor offered him half of his second grouse, and Loki leaned over to eat it straight from his hands.

When their bellies were full, Thor began to poke the glowing embers in an attempt to get the fire going again. “How are you feeling?”

Loki knew what he was asking about. “I am better. I believe my heat has passed.” He settled on the pelts Thor had placed around the fire, his body still sore all over. He massaged his hip and met Thor’s gaze over the fire. “I’m glad you were here.”

Thor smiled at him and joined him on the pelts. They sat there in comfortable silence and Loki realized he had not felt this content in almost a decade. The realization of how much he’d missed Thor’s company made him feel a little vulnerable, but he chose to ignore it, happy to watch the jovial smile on Thor’s face as he began to carve something out of a stick of wood.

A red moon began its climb up to the winter sky, but neither of them noticed the passage of time. Loki entertained Thor with harmless little illusions, careful not to reveal where he had learned them, for he knew Thor had never approved of his visits to the Ironwood. Loki himself listened with rapt attention as Thor told him exciting tales about his adventures in all the realms he had visited since their last meeting.

”Oh! I almost forgot!” Thor gasped, dropping his carving and disappearing into the cave.

He returned a moment later with his old leather bag, pulling something out and hiding it behind his back. “I got you a gift,” he grinned, eyes sly as he paused to wait for Loki to guess what it was that he was hiding.

Loki took his time, fully aware that Thor was much too eager to keep it up for long, laughing when he shoved his hand in Loki’s face, presenting him with a golden head ornament.

“Do you like it?” Thor asked, his full bottom lip caught between his teeth. “They were made by the sons of Ivaldi, dwarves who live deep below the ground in Svartálfheimr,” Thor explained as Loki examined the elaborately made gift; he had never possessed anything so beautiful, not even when he was still allowed in the palace. “You can wear them on your head like this.” Thor took the strings of golden coins from his hands, about to drape them around Loki’s horns when he suddenly stopped himself, remembering that he did not have permission to touch Loki there. “Well, you’ll wear them however you wish,” he smiled, attempting to hand the ornaments back to Loki.

Loki watched him for a long time, and it felt as if something in his chest was coming loose. It was warm and fond and Loki didn’t quite know what to do about it, but he finally took hold of Thor’s hands and brought them up to his forehead.

“I'd like you to do it,” he said, his voice coming out much fainter than he’d intended.

Thor’s eyes went wide at the implication hidden in Loki’s request. “Truly?”

Loki nodded and closed his eyes when he felt Thor’s hands reach up to the roots of his horns. He smiled at the slight tremble in Thor's fingers as he draped the golden ornaments around Loki’s curved horns, the coins cascading down his dark hair and settling against his forehead.

Thor didn’t pull his hands away once he was done, too eager to touch now that he finally had permission to do so. He ran his fingers up and down the knotty surface of Loki’s horns, feeling the sharp tips before moving back down to stroke his thumbs against the roots near his scalp. Loki began to lean into the touch, rubbing against Thor’s caressing fingers, shivering at the pleasant touch.

Thor immediately withdrew his hands. “Forgive me-“

Loki shook his head, the gold coins on his head jingling like tiny bells. “Don’t apologize. It felt wonderful.”

He lay his head on Thor’s lap and they spent the evening hours just lazing by the fire as Thor played with Loki’s hair, his fingers reaching up every now and again to caress his horns.

A lone owl took a perch in a nearby tree, hooting as it watched them, and the sight of the bird reminded Loki of his magnificent falcon plumes and how eager he had been to show them to Thor.

“I have something to show you, too,” he smirked, hurrying inside to fetch his cloak.

He threw it on to assume the shape of a falcon and let out a high-pitched call to get Thor’s attention as he flew out of the cave, soaring up toward the evening sky as Thor scrambled to his feet to watch his flight.

Loki flew a few circles across the lake and swooped down, changing shape right in front of Thor’s eyes. “Now we can fly together,” Loki smiled, ruffling his feathers.

Thor reached out to run his fingers along the silky plumes, his eyes wide and nothing short of bewildered. “That was truly impressive, Loki. Norns! Where did you get such a magnificent cloak?”

”Oh… well, um.” Loki realized he had not thought this through and he dropped his gaze like a scolded child, the guilty look on his face all the answer Thor needed.

“Don’t tell me… Don’t tell me it came from _her_ ,” Thor growled. The anger in his voice quickly changed to worry, his eyes pleading as he grabbed Loki’s shoulders. “Loki, you made a promise to me, years ago! You said you would have no more dealings with Angrboða. She means you nothing but ill. Surely you know that?”

Loki tugged at the collar of his robe as it threatened to slip off his shoulder, the desire to shift and escape making his fingers itch. “You just don’t understand…”

”What is there to understand? That you're foolish enough to have dealings with the most dangerous völva in Jötunheimr?” Thor brushed his fingers against the sleek feathers on Loki’s arm and the look on his face hardened. “What was the price, Loki? What did these plumes cost you?”  
  
“Who says there was a price?” Loki pouted, feigning indifference as he avoided meeting Thor’s accusing eyes.  
  
“There is always a price!” Thor cried out, and this time his voice was accompanied by a distant rumble of thunder. “Magical objects like these aren’t paid for with mere gold. What was your price, Loki? What did you give to that accursed völva?”  
  
Loki continued to stare at his feet, his lips a tight line as he fiddled with the sleeve of his cloak with nervous fingers.

“ _What did you give her_?”

The thunder that struck at Thor’s words startled Loki from his stubborn scowl and the words escaped his mouth before he could stop himself. “A child! I gave her a child,” he shouted.  
  
_“A child?”_ Thor whispered. He shook his head, eyes full of hurt, and Loki watched with bated breath as Thor’s face twisted into an expression he had no word for.

And then there was anger.  
  
Mjöllnir flew into Thor’s hand out of the cave, right through the frozen waterfall, and he swung the hammer so hard that when it struck the ground the entire lake crackled.

Loki backed away a few steps, the urge to flee almost overwhelming now. He knew Thor would never harm him, but his anger, when it ran unchecked, was a truly chilling sight.

“You let that hag bed you?” Thor cried out, fingers clenched around Mjöllnir’s shaft. “Loki, I thought we were… That you and I…"  


Loki shook his head, desperate to explain himself. ”It was not like that! I only gave her my seed, I do not know what she created with it or how she did it. She asked for a child and I agreed to give her one, but I did not lie with her.”

Thor hung his head, his grip on Mjöllnir loosening until the hammer fell at his feet. “I cannot believe you would have a child with that evil crone but not with me.”

Loki felt his own temper flare at the accusation. “Selfish Áss! This is not about you! I am free to do as I please and the decision to carry or sire a child is mine alone to make.” Loki began to pace, the cloak dragging behind him and twisting around his feet. “And don’t pretend that what is between us goes beyond the carnal pleasures of the flesh. We both know that you only come here to sate your mighty lust,” he spat, the old fear of being replaced and abandoned burning in his throat like bile.  
  
“You truly think that is how I feel about you, Loki?” Thor asked, visibly shocked by Loki’s words.  
  
“I know it is. And every time you leave, I’m still here, as alone as I ever was. Or would you deny that you have bedded countless wenches between your visits here? For all I know you could have a consort waiting dutifully to welcome you home, even as you rut in the frost with me.”

Loki had begun to slip between the Allspeak and his own native language, and Thor had some trouble keeping up with him despite Loki’s past attempts to teach him the complicated language of the Jötnar.

”Do you really think I would allow you to put a child in me, then leave and come and go as you please while I am stuck in this dying realm, raising your bastard for centuries to come?”  
  
Thor reached out with a tentative hand, but Loki refused his touch. “You could come with me,” Thor offered, and the eager hope that bled into his voice made Loki wonder just how long Thor had been waiting to say those words to him.  
  
Loki shook his head, refusing to give into sentiment. “Oh Thor, you’re so naïve. Do you truly believe they would suffer Laufey-King’s heir to enter the mighty halls of Asgard?”  
  
“They will when I am king!” Thor insisted.  
  
Thor’s stubborn words kindled a spark of hope in Loki’s heart, but he smothered it before it could take root, knowing such hope to be a dangerous thing.

“You are not king, not yet. And have you forgotten that you yourself are here without the Allfather’s knowledge or consent?”  
  
Thor opened his mouth to speak, but discovered that he had no more words to offer, and he simply clamped his hand around the back of Loki’s neck, attempting to let his touch convey what his words failed to do.  
  
Loki wrenched himself free from Thor’s grasp, unable to stand the affectionate gesture when there was still such turmoil inside him.  
  
“Loki, please-“  


“Don’t!”

”I’ll take you with me, it’ll all work out, I promise!”

”You fool! Do not make promises you cannot keep!” Loki cried out, backing away, the affection he saw in Thor’s eyes suddenly unbearable.

He transformed and took to the sky, hearing Thor call his name as he let the winds carry him away.

  


* * *

 

  
Loki didn’t know where he was heading, he simply flew as far as his wings would carry him, feeling a powerful urge to hide after revealing so much of himself to Thor. Of course he wanted to accept Thor’s offer, to leave and never look back. It terrified Loki how much he wanted it, for all this harsh realm had ever done was make him feel rejected, nothing but an outsider among his own people, living on scraps.  
  
He would never have the throne, but he would always be a curse on people’s lips for being a son of Laufey. He knew the Æsir would not suffer him to cross the Bifröst, but he was so lonely some days that he could barely stand it, and bidding farewell to Thor had become harder each time he visited. The mere thought of going with him filled Loki with bitter disappointment, for he knew it was something he could never have. How cruel of Thor to even suggest such a thing!  
  
It was long past midnight when Loki had finally exhausted all the remaining strength in his wings, and he half swooped, half fell to the ground, tumbling into soft snow. He pushed himself up to his hands and knees, his panting breaths evaporating in tiny puffs in the cold air.  
  
He had hardly managed to get the trembling of his arms under control when a distant rumble of thunder made him look up. There was always a deep shadow above the Ironwood, and Loki’s heart jumped into his throat when he saw a bright flash of electricity strike through the dark veil over Angrboða’s domain. Another lighting stuck, and another, until there was hardly any pause between the bright flashes and the rumbling thunder.  
  
The sight made Loki’s blood run cold, for there were some foes in Jötunheimr that were beyond the Mighty Thor.

“You fool!”

Loki forced himself to his feet and changed his shape, hurrying toward the lightning in the horizon.

 

* * *

 

  
It took him several hours to cross the vast glacier that separated the Ironwood from the rest of Jötunheimr, and the knowledge that Thor’s life could be in danger was the only thing that kept Loki’s already exhausted body going. The lightning in the sky had begun to grow sparse as he flew, and Loki feared Thor was starting to tire.

When he finally reached the petrified wood, he saw Thor was caught in battle amid the tree trunks with a creature so large that Loki wondered if his senses were playing tricks on him in his bird form. The beast lunged at Thor and Loki bent his wings to race down, beginning his transformation as soon as he had reached the treetops.  
  
His feet touched the ground and he let out a horrified cry as he heard a familiar, blood-chilling howl, and saw that the beast Thor was fighting was a giant wolf, its slobbering maw big enough to swallow a full-grown troll.  
  
Thor was agile on his feet, parrying the wolf’s attacks with Mjöllnir, but Loki could tell he was indeed growing tired. Sharp blades of ice sprouted into his hands but before he could run for Thor’s aid, a blinding mass of darkness enveloped him and made him stop dead in his tracks. The darkness began to grow solid, sprouting arms that gripped him tightly around his waist and horns.

Angrboða yanked his head back, molding her hulking body against Loki's smaller frame.  
  
“Now, now, Loki. Don’t tell me you would slay your own child?” she hissed into his ear.  
  
_“What?”_ Loki stared at the giant wolf with newfound horror as the result of their bargain was finally revealed to him. Surely such a beast could not share his blood?

”Beautiful isn’t he? Our little Fenris,” Angrboða hummed.

”It’s a monster!” Loki growled, shoving the blades in his hands into her flanks.

The witch flinched at the strike, but the wounds were not enough to make her release her hold on him.  
  
“It was not I who started this,” Angrboða continued, as if Loki hadn’t just stabbed her. “Your arrogant little áss had the gall to enter _my_ wood and claim I no longer hold the right to see my favorite little pupil.” Her hold on Loki was becoming tighter, more possessive. “Now we shall watch him die for his insolence, for I much doubt that he is as mighty as the skalds have made him out to be.”  
  
“Don’t count on it,” Loki spat when the wolf let out a high-pitched whine as Mjöllnir collided with its slavering snout. His mouth curved up in a hopeful smile, but it died almost immediately when Fenris lunged in retaliation and sent Thor flying through the tree trunks with one fell swoop of its mighty paw.

Angrboða cackled into Loki’s ear. “Perhaps you should have stayed and taught your son not to play with his food.”

Loki snarled and sank a fresh blade of ice in the witch’s massive thigh. He struggled against her grip and the hold she had on his horns tightened, tendrils of malicious seiðr slithering up Loki’s body like shackles, rendering him immobile.  
  
Thor was back on his feet, stumbling through the petrified brush, shoving aside broken tree trunks as if they were nothing but twigs to him. His eyes finally caught sight of Loki, imprisoned by Angrboða’s evil seiðr, and the roar he let out made the ground tremble.

“You hag! Get your hands off of him!” Thor bellowed, and Loki watched in horrified awe as something began to take hold of him.

His shoulders hunched and he began to shiver and pant like a mindless beast, the sight of Loki bound from horn to foot pushing him into senseless rage and beyond. 

Even Angrboða leaned forward to watch raptly as the change took over Thor. "Oh, what's this now?"

A heavy smell of ozone hung in the air and Thor’s eyes began to glow as the blood of the berskerker boiled in his veins. He fell to his knees, panting like a beast, too distracted to notice the wolf looming behind him as battle lust clouded his mind.  


“Thor! Watch ou-“

Angrboða smacked her giant paw over Loki’s mouth, cutting off his warning. “Watch closely, now, Loki,” she purred, shifting her grip to hold Loki by his left horn, “you’ll not want to miss this, for this is the part where your little prince gets eaten.”

The wolf's slobbering jaws opened wide to swallow Thor whole, and Loki knew he had to act or watch Thor perish. The witch laughed at his useless struggling, her grip like iron. Loki yanked and twisted his head left and right in a desperate attempt to free himself until he heard a nauseating crunch. Sharp, searing pain bloomed in his head and the heavy arm around his shoulders faltered in surprise as Angrboða gaped at the broken horn in her hand.

With his head freed, Loki was finally able to pull himself out of her grasp, and ignoring the pain in his horn, he began to sprint forward, draining what little energy he had left to create one last blade of ice. He hurled the ice at the wolf, already feeling Angrboða’s massive hands crawling up his body. His strike was true and the wolf recoiled as the sharp blade lodged deep into its eye, distracting it long enough to give Thor an opening.

Thor was utterly lost in his battle frenzy, the instinct to kill clouding his mind. He raised Mjöllnir high above his head and called down a bolt of lightning, far larger than Loki had ever seen. It struck the wolf’s back, singeing its fur and lighting patches of it on fire. Fenris howled in pain as Thor was upon it like a storm, beating it relentlessly with his mighty hammer, his berserker rage bleeding new life into her battle song.

Thor grabbed the wolf’s shaggy fur, and climbed hand over hand onto the massive hill of its back. Clinging to the monster’s ruff, he swung his hammer in a wide arc, bringing it down on the wolf’s head with such terrifying force that it cracked the skull and sank straight through the bone.

Fenris was dead, his large tongue lolling against a half-closed maw as he fell on his side.

Angrboða let out a shrill cry at the sight and rushed to her dead child.

Thor was still trying to dislodge his hammer from the wolf’s broken skull when Angrboða fixed her furious red eyes on him, her black seiðr dripping from her hands as she aimed it at Thor.

Loki had no strength left to create any more ice blades, and he simply jumped onto her back, biting and scratching in an attempt to move her aim away from Thor. She growled at him and shook him off as if Loki were but a flea on her back.

Loki's eyes were bleary and his head throbbed with pain, but he did not relent. He got back on his feet, ready to try again, but the giantess blasted the seiðr in her hands straight at him, her evil charms almost knocking him unconscious as they sent him flying through the air. His back hit one of the large petrified trees and he felt something in his chest snap when he landed.

Loki lay on the ground, his vision swimming. The broken half of his left horn lay a few feet away from his face where Angrboða had let it fall, and Loki stared at it, hardly comprehending that it used to be part of him.

He felt Thor’s terrifying roar shake the ground once more and turned his face to watch as Thor harnessed his lighting and brought it down from the mass of dark clouds. It began to hail as the thunder god and the ancient völva clashed, her dark seiðr finally meeting its match in Thor’s unrelenting berserkergang.

Every single attack she aimed at Thor seemed to wash off his body like water. Her blades did not wound him and every spell she spoke was rendered useless by his lighting. It was a battle she simply could not win.

Thor raised his hammer and brought down a bolt of lightning that ran straight through Angrboða’s body into her very core in a bright current, singeing her long red hair, her fur cloak and the blue skin underneath it. She stood there, naked, her skin boiling, until her entire body burst into flames.

Loki watched as she burned, her evil cackling laughter echoing all around them until all was quiet, the only thing left of her a smoking pile of ash and a frozen heart, half hidden in the blackened pile of Angrboða’s remains.

Loki began to crawl toward it, ignoring the pain of broken bones and bruised skin. Thor noticed his movement, but there was no sign of recognition in his eyes. He stalked toward Loki, battle lust still bright in his blue eyes, and for a brief terrifying moment, Loki was sure Thor was going to crush him with his hammer, unable to separate friend from foe.

Thor paused at the last moment, collapsing on his knees. He shook his head in an attempt to clear his mind as the rage slowly ebbed out of his body.

”Loki?” Thor brushed his knuckles against Loki’s blood-stained cheek. His eyes cleared, the madness parting like clouds after a sudden storm and he collected Loki’s broken body into his arms. “You’re hurt!” He wiped away some of the blood that was oozing from the corner of Loki’s mouth. “Oh Loki…”

“The heart,” Loki croaked, struggling to get away from Thor’s arms, “the heart still beats.”

Thor released his hold on him and took in the sight of the battlefield around them, seeing the destruction he had wrought with his terrible blood lust.

Loki crawled to the pile of ashes, but when he touched the heart, the organ cracked and shattered like ice, releasing a whirl of black smoke that grew in size as it soared higher. A familiar laughter rang in his ears and Loki knew that Angrboða’s evil yet survived.

“No!” Loki wailed, clawing at the ashes frantically. Something wet dripped into his vision, and when he wiped it away, his fingers were dyed bright red with his own blood. He felt Thor’s arms around him, pulling him away from the smoking remains to wrap Loki’s body in his cloak.

Loki rested his head against Thor’s chest and felt it shake as Thor began to weep.

”Loki, please, what am I to do?”

Loki reached up to brush his fingers against Thor's chin, his eyes growing dark, the pain in his body too much to bear.

 

* * *

 

Loki woke up in a large wooden boat, much like the longboat Thor had carved for him years ago. He lay on his back and marveled at the intricate design of the prow above his head. His ears were full of strange bird songs and the air smelled of sweet tree sap.

Where in Ymir's name was he?

Loki turned his face and noticed there was a body next to him, lying against his side in deep slumber.  
  
“Thor?” Loki whispered. His throat was dry and his voice barely above a whisper, but Thor had heard him.  
  
“You’re awake!” Thor grabbed the back of Loki’s neck gently and pressed their foreheads together, his face glowing with relief. “How do you feel?”  
  
“Like the dead,” Loki groaned. He looked around, taking in his surroundings. The walls of the chamber were thick oak tree and the multi-layered roof rose toward the sky like a tower. There were colorful shields and hand-woven tapestries on the walls, and everywhere Loki looked he saw beautiful carvings on wooden columns and detailed gold ornaments. He himself was dressed in an elaborately made dark green tunic, resting in soft linens in a bed carved in the shape of a longboat. “This place does not look nearly gloomy enough to be the hall of Hela.”  
  
“I should hope not,” Thor laughed, “for you are in my bed chamber in Bilskirnir.”  
  
Loki felt his heart beat a little faster at Thor’s words. “I’m… I’m in Asgard?”  
  
Thor nodded and helped Loki to sit up. “I had to bring you with me, for I did not have the skill to heal you. Your body was broken in many places.”

Thor took Loki’s hand and pulled him out of the bed, supporting his weight with one of his large arms draped around Loki’s waist. They walked to a nearby balcony and Thor sat Loki down on a bench made of solid gold.

“It’s been a fortnight since we arrived. You spent most of that time in Eir’s hall, but you are finally on the mend.”  
  
Loki’s body felt stiff and frail and the lingering pain in his head made him realize he’d lost something. His hand shot up but and he discovered that what remained of his left horn was wrapped in a bandage.  
  
“I am sorry, Loki, but even our most skilled healers could not reattach it.” Thor placed a small bundle of linen in Loki’s lap.  
  
Wrapped inside was half of his horn and as he stared at it, he felt a phantom pain in the remaining half underneath bandages. “It was never meant to be reattached,” Loki said, shaking his head. “Our horns are part of who we are and they grow as we do. If jötnar lose or damage their horns, they will remain that way as a testament to their failure.”  
  
“But you did not fail anything,” Thor interrupted, placing his hand on Loki’s shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. “You fought bravely and the foul völva shall remain in Hel until Ragnarök. You should carry your mark of our battle against her with pride.”  
  
Loki gave a weak smile and got up to lean against the wooden railing. “Angrboða’s spirit survived, I saw it fly up to the sky and vanish.” He made sure not to utter a word about the wolf and how it had come to be, though he suspected Thor already knew.  
  
“Her spirit is realms away,” Thor said, placing his warm hand on Loki’s shoulder. “You are safe here.”  
  
Loki did not share Thor’s optimism, but he was too tired to worry, and the knowledge that he was in a brand new realm filled his heart with joy.  
  
There was so much more color in Thor’s homeland than there ever was in Jötunheimr, and Loki realized he did not even have a name for most of the different shades. The waters in the fjords of Thrúdheimr were clear, reflecting the blue of the sky above. Golden fields and evergreen forests covered the land as far as the eye could see and there were several real longboats in the small harbor east of Bilskirnir.  
  
“It’s quite a view,” Loki sighed, shaking his head. “I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“We can see every corner of the land once you are better. I’ll take you to the city and you’ll meet my mother and -”  
  
“The Allfather allows my presence here?” Loki asked, tearing his gaze away from the landscape.  
  
“You are my guest, Loki, and you shall stay in my hall for as long as you wish.” The stubborn edge in Thor’s voice made Loki suspect he had been through an argument or two to allow Loki to remain in Asgard.  
  
“I hope you didn’t get into too much trouble for sneaking into enemy territory for a jötunn paramour?”  
  
Thor scratched his head and gave Loki a sheepish grin. “There may have been a few upturned tables and broken door hinges when I was discovered. Only my mother’s wise words were able to quell my father’s rage. I do not know what she said to him, but she has the gift of foresight, perhaps she has seen something in the future that we cannot know until it comes to pass, something good.”  
  
Loki took support from Thor’s bicep when he felt his body grow weary, allowing Thor to help him back inside. “Are you still angry with me?” Loki asked once he had settled back into bed, their fight at the lake shore still fresh in his memory.

Thor walked to the window and remained quiet for a long time.

”Thor?”  
  
When Thor finally returned to the bed and met Loki’s gaze, he appeared a little weary, but his smile was warm. “I am quick to anger, but I am also quick to forgive.”

He smiled and leaned down to brush a few loose strands of bed-matted hair behind Loki’s ears, careful not to touch the bandaged horn.

“We all make mistakes, Loki. I dare say my mother would be more than happy to recount the many mistakes I myself have made over the centuries,” Thor smirked. “What happened with Angrboða is water under the bridge, and I would move on and start anew.” The look on his face grew a little uncertain, his smile nervous as he fiddled with the hem of his cape. “That is, if you wish to do so, for I will take you back home if you don’t want to remain here.”  
  
Loki shivered at the mere thought of going back to his old life in Jötunheimr, but he wanted to be sure of his position in Asgard before he’d give his answer. “And tell me, would I be a simple guest,” he gave Thor a pointed look, “or something else?”  
  
Thor knelt in front of Loki and enclosed one of his hands in his warm palms. “You would be Loki,” he grinned.  
  
Loki let out a quiet chuckle, more than satisfied with Thor’s response.  
  
“You shall stay then?”  
  
“Aye, I think I shall.”  
  
Thor drew Loki into a warm embrace, stroking his thumb against his neck as he whispered in his ear.

“I have so much to show you.”


End file.
